Don't Be A Bitter Bxtch!

My whole life I have had issues with females. For the longest, and I DO mean the longest there have been countless unnecessary encounters with bitter bit…..you know. I remember one time, I had just moved to NC and started high school at Hillside, there was this pretty lil red bone that went there. In fact, she grew up in that town, I WAS THE NEWBIE. Anyway, she didnt like me and it was clear, so I had a mutual friend ask her why she didnt like me and her response…”I dont know, I just dont like her.” I wish back then I fully understood her and that type of mindset but sadly I didnt, and for a long time in life I went on meeting and befriending more lowkey hating females…..and this is how the story goes….

I didnt grow up with much love or reassurance that I was loved. I’ve learned now its typical in a Haitian household, unfortunate but still very typical. Anyway, growing up with that type of structure caused me to misplace my self love and look for love from others in weird ways. So much so that I was not only dimming my light I was allowing myself to be used by people who so clearly didnt value me. And honestly, I knew it but I also really didnt want to lose people.

I spent much of life repeating this pattern, each new face brought me the same lesson, and I was just not getting it. I went through it with friends, boyfriends, family just everybody lol. My lack of self love kept me from shinning my light and wanting relationships that catered to my trauma. So I got’em. And let me just say this, because of the structure I was brought up in, I needed them, in a weird twisted way. I wasn’t going to ween off of them until I was strong enough in my core to live above the trauma that once raised me. That’s a different story.

I thought that as I elevated mentally and raised my vibration that inevitably my attachment to my trauma bonds would just like fall off. But truth is, like every other part of the healing journey you have to choose. Sounds simple enough I know, but in reality, choosing to commit to processes and like, mindsets of higher frequency is far easier than choosing people who commit to it as well. Like, lets be real, choosing higher self is NOT for the weak, like the old saying goes if it were easy everyone would be doing it. With that, its easy to like people and accept them as they are BUT, when you are aiming for higher and/or to release yourself from trauma bonds you deadass have to BOSS UP & COMPLETELY CUT IT OFF! How you do one thing is how you do anything. The smallest drop of a thing is to be accounted for, so that low vibrational energy you allow in your life say by association is still IN YOUR LIFE.

I know that sounds harsh, like dont get me wrong love and accept people for who they are because we all just literally are human. But if your goal is greatness than you can not allow low vibrational energy in or around you in anyway, or if you do honey please do so in easy to digest doses so it does not consume you. Cuz like for real there are just some people who you will love and they will fill that space, so the rest of the bullshit has no place. ooh that rhymed lol. Anyway, my point in saying all this was moreso to remind myself but hey, thats what I have a BLOG for to share the things I think are worth sharing. However this sounds, its a summation I came to after almost 30 years of giving myself to people for their pleasure. When I chose me that was the absolute best thing I ever did and I refuse to let anyone or anything interfere with the peace I’ve found or the future I am manifesting. Take it how you will.